I was just re-reading my last few posts and thinking how things can so rapidly change. It’s interesting to re-read what I’ve written, and know how I was thinking then, and compare it to how I’m thinking now. Bizarre.
I had a moment of clarity. May 22nd was a weird day for me. I was all set to get my drink on and party with some friends and have a great time. I blame Jaeger. I did a couple shots of Jaeger and my world came crashing down around my ears.
I realized I missed my husband and my best friend. I realized that I was an Idiot for leaving. I realized that maybe the reasons I left could have been resolved before I moved out. I’m not saying that my reasons weren’t valid, because, they very much were. I’m saying that I feel like I should have handled things a little bit differently. Maybe listened a little more and not got so hung up on what I thought I needed and deserved. I was so focused on what I wasn’t getting that I didn’t see that I wasn’t giving anything either. When both people in a marriage are off in La-La Land, it’s sometimes easy to take that Divorce road. I think it’s easier, sometimes, to get divorced then it is to admit you were wrong and then put some effort into things. I don’t think that it’s this way for everyone, but I think it was my crooked way of thinking for awhile. I do know that I was convinced that moving out was the very best thing for me. However, if I had maybe stopped thinking of things in terms of “me” or “I”, and started thinking “we” and “our family” things may have gone down a different road. Both of us have a lot to work on, and I’m looking forward to our challenges, rather than fearing them.
Hindsight really is 20/20. I suppose it’s a popular saying for a reason!
Anyway, I called Jamie that night and let him know I was missing him. Unfortunately, it was very late when I had this sudden attack of clarity, so he ignored me and turned him phone off. Lucky for me, he’s a forgiving kind of guy, and he called me in the morning when he woke up. Thus begins the long process of healing our relationship and ourselves together. It’s been a little bumpy already, even last night it was a little strained, but I feel like this ordeal is something that is going to make us stronger. Only time will tell. :) I just know that I feel more myself in the last 3 weeks then I have in the last 6 months. Maybe all I really did need was a little break?
THE MOST RETARDED MAN IN THE WORLD (according to me)
My poor baby Carley. She was supposed to be spending the majority of her summer with her dad this year. They suggested it and Carley said she wanted to go so I (foolishly) let it happen. This arrangement lasted a Grand Total of 5 days. I dropped her off with them the Wednesday before Memorial Day and her dad called me Tuesday morning saying there was a problem.
They have a teeny tiny dog there. Well apparently the dog stepped on a carpet tack and yelped. Well the EVIL STEP MOTHER accused Carley of messing with the dog and yelled at her to get away from the dog. Carley's Dad stuck up for Carley and told EVIL STEP MOTHER that Carley was nowhere near the dog and that Carley didn’t do anything. According to her Dad a fight between him and ESM ensues and then she turns around and looks Carley in the face and tells Carley “Get the fuck out of my house, right now!!!!”
So I’m obviously pissed and her Dad is asking if he can bring Carley to me because she’s not allowed to be there and it’s just a huge mess. So Carley has been coming to work with me because the boys and girls club is wait listed. Poor kid.
I bought her some crafty stuff to do and I thought I would share it with you. I thought it all came out great!
Mr. Dragonfly. (My favorite)
Mrs. Lady Bug (notice that all the other bugs are Mr.'s, LOL)
Last night we went to Tilly's and had a little Fashion Show:
This is Cowboy Jamie:
This is Skater Carley:
Bruce Willis Jamie:
He actually bought the sunglasses he's wearing. I never thought I'd see the day when Jamie bought a pair of sunglasses, let alone Aviators! I kinda like them on him though. :)
Well, Ta Ta for now!